


The Driving Test

by Higgles123



Category: Peaky Blinders (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-24
Updated: 2020-07-24
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:56:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25492711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Higgles123/pseuds/Higgles123
Summary: Ava wants to learn to drive... and Alfie always gives his wife what she wants.
Relationships: Alfie Solomons/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 37





	The Driving Test

Alfie thought he might have been hearing things when Ava first breezed into the room with a completely out of the blue declaration leaving her mouth. Dropping his pencil and perching his glasses on the end of his nose, he peered at her over them and frowned. 

  
“Come again?” 

  
“I want to learn to drive,” Ava repeated causally. 

  
“Why exactly?” 

  
“I don’t know,” Ava shrugged. “It just looks fun.”

  
“You wanna learn to drive cos it looks fun?” Alfie scoffed.

  
“That’s not the only reason, obviously,” Ava pulled a face. “I want to learn to drive so I have freedom to take the kids out when you’re at work. I could take them to the seaside or to visit my parents.”    


“You can do that all now,” Alfie said. 

“But it’s not the same,” Ava exclaimed. “I don’t want to have Ishmael or one of the others drive because I can never fully enjoy myself when I’m spending all my time feeling guilty about them sitting around all day waiting for us.”   


“That’s what they get paid for love,” Alfie answered. “They’ve got a cushy deal if you ask me; better than loadin’ up crates on the docks innit?” 

  
“I suppose,” she sighed. “I just... yeah you know what you’re right. It’s a stupid idea and I would be terrible at it anyway.” 

  
She turned to leave the study with that sad look upon her face that always pierced Alfie’s heart. 

  
“Just wait a minute,” he sighed. “If driving’s what you wanna do then I’ll make it happen. Sort you out some lessons or summit.”

  
“Really?” Ava exclaimed, rushing back to him with such joy in her eyes that he couldn’t help but smile back. 

  
“Really,” he nodded, taking her hand and kissing it reverently. “Just want you to be happy don’t I?” 

  
“Oh Alfie you won’t regret this, I promise!” 

…………………. …………………. …………………. …………………. …………………. ………………

  
But regret it he fucking well did. Jesus Christ on a fucking bike what had he done letting Ava out loose on the roads of Camden? Ollie had been the first to volunteer to take her out for lessons; anything to get out of the bakery if he was honest but after the first hour he returned ashen faced and said he would rather face a gaggle of interfering yentas than ever get in a car with Ava again. 

  
“Oh fuck off, Ollie. I bet she weren’t that bad,” Alfie had scoffed.

  
Turns out though he couldn’t have been more wrong. 

  
Ishmael was the next to try and although he had persevered longer than Ollie, he still gave up after a few lessons. The straw that broke the camel’s back was when Ava had managed drive into a lamppost because she was waving at Ollie’s mum across the street. And apparently the lamppost wasn’t the only thing to have taken damage from Ava Solomons’ terrible driving. 

  
“Mr Solomons?”

“Yeah?” Alfie answered the phone abruptly. 

  
“It’s Mr Rosenthal here from Ripon street, next door to the paper shop,” the voice replied. “I’m sorry to bother you but it really is rather an urgent matter.”

  
“Right well I’m a little bit busy now, Mr Rosenthal, so there is any chance that this could perhaps wait until a later time?”

  
“Not really,” the older man protested. “It’s about your wife.”

  
“I’m listenin’,” Alfie sighed. 

  
Alfie closed his eyes and fought the urge to groan as the man relayed the tale of how Ava had ran over his prized begonias and driven off with out so much as an apology, and what was Alfie going to do to remedy the situation because the best kept garden competition was coming up soon. Alfie assured the man he would replace the flowers and also have a bit of a word with the judges of the competition to ensure that they took the incident into account during their judging. Slamming down the phone, Alfie finally allowed himself to groan and dropped his head onto the desk with a grunt. And then of course the phone decided to ring once more. 

  
“Yes.” 

  
And so began a pattern that stuck for the coming few days. Your wife almost ran me over. Your wife popped my little boy’s football. Your wife scratched my car. Your wife went so fast past me that it blew up my skirt and the whole street saw my undergarments. 

  
“Right, that’s it,” Alfie growled, chucking the phone receiver down on the table, making Ollie jump. 

  
“What are you doing?” Ollie grimaced as Alfie grabbed his coat and cane angrily. 

  
“Going to see what all this fuckin’ nonsense is about,” he said curtly. “And do summit about it.”

  
“Don’t hurt her,” Ollie’s eyes widened. 

  
“Hurt her?” Alfie frowned, his face close to Ollie’s. “I’m gonna pretend you never fuckin’ said that cos even someone like you is smart enough to know I’d sooner poke out me eye than ever hurt Ava.” 

  
“Sorry,” Ollie mumbled apologetically. “So what _are_ you going to do?” 

  
“It’s obvious ain’t it.” 

  
…………………. …………………. …………………. …………………. …………………. ……………

  
“Right ok, so just take your foot gently off the clutch- no fuckin’ gently, not like that!”

  
“I _am_ doing it gently!”

  
“No you’re fuckin’ not! Try again only this time try and actually glide off slowly and not all bumpy cos I don’t fancy hittin’ me head on the fuckin’ dashboard again,” Alfie tried to be as patient as possible but he was wearing thin. 

  
“Well you should have been holding on!” Ava exclaimed as the car lurched and jumped over and over again. 

  
“You what? Ava it’s a fuckin’ automobile not a buckin’ bronco!”

“Alfie, you’re really putting me off with your negative attitude,” Ava gritted her teeth and tried to get the car in gear. And failed. The car sputtered pathetically before jerking so hard that Alfie was certain he felt something in his neck snap.

“I’ve seen enough,” Alfie was exasperated. “Get out. I’m drivin’ us home cos I’d actually like to be able to see my fuckin’ kids again before I die in here with you.”

“No, I’m driving,” Ava shook her head even as Alfie climbed out of the passenger side and stomped around to her door, yanking it open impatiently and demanding once again for her to vacate her seat. “Alfie, you’re making a scene.”

“ _I’m_ making a scene?” Alfie laughed incredulously. “You’re the one who has been destroying Camden town single fuckin’ handedly in this fuckin’ death trap. Do you know how many phone calls and complaints I’ve had about you? Hmm? And now I fuckin’ see why.”

Alfie knew he had gone too far when Ava’s face crumbled. He scratched uncomfortably at his beard while his wife burst into tears and he looked around helplessly at the crowd that was beginning to gather.

“Ava,” he sighed, crouching down at her side. “Love, look at me.”

“No,” she covered her face and cried. “Just go away Alfie.”

“Love please,” he reached for one of her hands. “I didn’t mean to upset you. I shouldn’t have lost my temper and I’m sorry. Come on, you can’t stay mad me cos then I’ll have to be a right bastard to Ollie tomorrow and you hate that, don’t you? Eh?”

“Have you really had complaints about my driving?” she lifted her head finally to look at him.

“Just a few,” he said quietly, wiping the tears from her face with the back of his hand. “But everyone struggles a little when they start learnin’ to drive.”

“They do?” she narrowed her eyes at him.

“Course they do,” he answered a little too enthusiastically. “Now, why don’t you let me drive home just for now, and then tomorrow we’ll go out to Margate and you can practice on the more quiet roads, yeah?”

“Ok,” Ava sniffed, giving a small smile.

“That’s my good girl,” Alfie grinned. “We’ll have you drivin’ like a pro in no time.”

…………………. …………………. …………………. …………………. ………………….

_Two months later_

“Alfie! Alfie! I did it! I did it!”

Ava came running up the front steps screaming and laughing like a mad woman. The children were at the window watching with fascinated curiosity at their mother’s contagious joy. Ava flung herself into Alfie’s arms when she reached him at the front door and he picked her up with a grunt.

“Alfie, I passed!” she giggled as he set her back down on her feet. “Look!”

“See, didn’t I tell you?” Alfie smiled leaning back to avoid receiving a papercut to the eye from the sheet of paper his wife had thrust into his face. “Look, my very own driving license! Can you even believe it?

“Never doubted you for a minute, love,” he smiled, capturing her lips gently. “Why don’t you go in and get you and the kiddies ready and I’ll take you all out for dinner to celebrate, yeah? I’ll just go and thank the driving instructor for his time.”

“Ok,” Ava smiled happily, squeezing past him and disappearing to find the children.

Alfie shuffled down the steps and towards the car, where the driving instructor was wiping sweat from his forehead with a handkerchief. His hand was physically shaking as he wound down the window.

“Mr Solomons,” he let out a laboured breath. “Your wife is an absolute menace on the road.”

“I know,” Alfie nodded, fishing a wad of notes out of his pocket.

“You do?” the instructor frowned.

“Yeah,” Alfie counted out the notes until the amount was that which they had agreed upon earlier in the day. “But you see, I like seein’ my wife happy and she’s happy as a lark right now.”

“That well may be, Mr Solomons, but I really should be reporting her to the authorities for dangerous driving and not granting her a license.”

“Nah,” Alfie shook his head and leaned in towards the window menacingly. “Only thing you need to do is take this money and carry on with your little life, alright?”

Despite his conscience screaming against doing such a thing, the instructor took the very generous amount of money with a curt nod and drove away as quickly as possible.

Walking back up the steps into the house, Alfie smiled to himself when he heard Ava upstairs, chattering away excitedly to the children about the all adventures they were going to have. However, his smile quickly fell when he realised with horror that in trying to make his wife happy, he had only enabled her to drive legally whenever and wherever she wanted. And with his children in the car, nonetheless.

Holy fuck. What had he done?


End file.
